Civility

The Iron Law of Civility Governs Traffic @ the Harrods Creek Bridge

A History of Civility: From Plato to the KBACode of Professional Courtesy [abridged by the author August, 2009]

36 Bench & Bar September 2008
By Donald H. Vish

The tie that holds me by the law of courtesy seems to me much tighter and stronger than the law of legal compulsion — Michel de Montaigne.

Be Brief

An invitation to write or speak about civility provides the recipient with an opportunity to demonstrate its first law: be brief. There is a more elaborate formulation of the rule: pensa molto, parla poco, e scrivi meno which I hasten to translate into English: think much, speak little, and write less. Otherwise, the useful Italian dictum violates George Washington’s 72nd Rule of Civility:

Speak not in an unknown tongue in company, but in your own language....

What is civility

So what does civil conduct have to do with speaking briefly, writing concisely and speaking in a language the audience understands? The common denominator is that each is based on thoughtful concern for the comfort and convenience of others. That is the cornerstone of civility. Civility transcends the realm of the merely useful and belongs to the higher realm of ethics and morality. Civility is more than a way of acting — it is a way of living. George Washington’s lifelong interest in civility began at the age of 14 when he wrote in his journal 110 Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation. His First Rule of Civility could serve as the ONLY rule of civility, a complete and brief treatise on the subject:

Every action done in company ought to be done with some sign of respect to those that are present.

Civility is more than courteous, well-mannered behavior. Being civil means being constantly aware of others and weaving restraint, respect, and consideration into the very fabric of this awareness, according to P. M. Forni, the co-founder of the Johns Hopkins Civility Project and a noted author and speaker on the subject of civility. Civility is a form of goodness, he concludes in his best-selling book Choosing Civility: the Twenty Five Rules of Considerate Conduct. Those who practice civility, Dr. Forni believes, find both serenity and contentment. Benjamin Franklin was similarly inclined. Franklin believed practicing the art of civil virtue leads first to personal happiness and eventually to greatness.

Emulating Washington and Franklin, the Kentucky Bar Association codified eleven aspirational rules of professional courtesy in 1993 and petitioned the Kentucky Supreme Court to adopt and promulgate the Code of Professional Courtesy [CPC] by formal order. Effective September 1, 1993, Kentucky lawyers had two sets of civil rules: The Rules of Civil Procedure, governing civil actions, and the Rules of Professional Courtesy, governing civil behavior....The CPC is intended as a series of guidelines for lawyers in their dealings with clients, opposing parties, their lawyers, the courts and the general public. While not constituting a disciplinary code or a legal standard of care, Kentucky attorneys are expected to comply with the letter and spirit of the Code adopted by the Supreme Court. The eleven rules in their totality encompass Washington’s First Rule, be considerate of those present, and Plato’s dictum, be kind every one you meet is fighting a hard battle.

...incivility is contagious. One uncivil act begets another which treads on the heels of another and spreads like the Swine Flu. So are there antidotes to the Plague of Incivility? Well, if there are not enough Rules already, I would propose four more:

• Think much, speak little, and write less
• Save your anger for the right occasion but always withhold it in two cases: 1) where you can’t change the outcome and 2) where you can
• Look and overlook , bear and forbear
• Always make haste slowly.
  DV

Donald Vish is an attorney with Middleton Reutlinger in Louisville.
The author would like to acknowledge and thank Kentucky Supreme Court Justice James E. Keller (retired) for his encouragement of and enthusiasm for the advancement of civility and the expert editorial and stylistic advice provided by lawyer James Dady. Errors and omissions, however, are those of the author alone.

A Magic Formula for Success Part 4 of 4

Part4/4

A Magic Formula

Remarks

Delivered to Bellarmine Pioneers
11-11@11-2008



It’s not how many times you get knocked down that measure your progress it’s how many times you get back up.

Let me tell you about two people I admire greatly, who have given me (and the world) so much. Cicero, the prominent Roman orator and politician effectively lost his job when Julius Caesar closed the forum and put an end to politics in Rome. So what did the ‘unemployed’ Cicero do? He pursued a career as a philosopher and writer and left an immortal legacy to the world during his forced and unexpected retirement. He excelled in a career he did not plan and did not want.

Dante, the poet and pilgrim of the Divine Comedy, was an aristocrat, a man of means, powerful and educated. In his timeless masterpiece, we meet Dante the pilgrim in a tangled wood, lost in the middle of life’s journey, near suicide. Dante the poet had lost his power, his property, his place, his prestige, his family and was under a death sentence when he found himself at odds with his church and his government.

Some of you have little, some of you have nothing and some of you have even less than that. Dante had everything and lost it.

In exile, stripped of everything, Dante used his unexpected ‘bad luck’ to write one of the greatest works of art known in Western civilization. In his poem, he travels from the dark and tangled wood into the celestial light of God’s divine presence; the only mortal ever afforded such a privilege. Why and how was the pilgrim transported from dark to light, from death to life, from Hell to Heaven? The poem answers the question: because he was a man of hope.

There’s a story I like to tell about the Sufi Sage. He was chastised by the Fool for not giving thanks when he was blessed by good luck or doing penance when he was cursed by bad luck. The Sage had an explanation: That’s because I’m never sure which is which.

There’s a proverb that teaches: if the sky falls, catch larks. That’s what Cicero and Dante did and you should think of them, catching larks and the Sufi Sage every time it looks like you have a set-back or an unexpected interruption in your plans.

During my time at Bellarmine, I met many real living and breathing friends, mentors and role models. But my liberal arts education introduced me to a host of other teachers, tutors and sages from the past. Those who know me well often hear my citations to Erasmus and the wisdom of his secular bible the Adagia; to my high pagan priest Seneca and to my Renaissance humanist preacher, Montaigne.


Montaigne had inscribed on the ceiling of his library various mottos, proverbs and bits of worldly wisdom that inspired him and governed him. As a Bellarmine student, I began collecting wise adages with the hope that I might one day own a ceiling on which to inscribe them. In time, I learned that it was more important to live them than to write them. While not on my ceiling today, they are always near. Collectively, they constitute everything I know or think I know or even suspect. In the aggregate, they are less than 500 words.

So, I conclude in summary by telling you about myself: (1) I have accomplished 8 words per year and (2) everything I know worth knowing can be said in less than 500 words (so I apologize in using 2000 words to address you). And I leave you with the last component of the Magic Formula which is my own personal motto:

Part 6: Always Make Haste Slowly.




DV
11/5/2008
1924 words